But I want my head to be in he stars at the same time. to relax to the fact that things are taken care of, what will happen will happen and things are where they are and that is how it is . maybe there is a deeper meaning for things and maybe there isnt. But fighting what will happen doesnt make sense. it will not prevent it. and yes we do our best so that the outcome is favourable to us, but we can never control the outcome , just influence it , maybe - slightly. OR do we create reality with our thoughts? or prayers? I dont know . One thing I know is that if i am supposed to loose my job or home or money etc... it will happen, and just like a tree or a fish is taken care of I will be taken care of. history has proved it.
What makes my heart beat and my lungs breathe will keep me alive just as t happened before, lifts me from the lowest of the lowest to a place I never thought I will be in. I sometimes think that the collective thoughts of the people around us and who think of us in addition to our own thoughts is what creates our reality, or more accurately co-create our reality along with the mystery of God ... the universe ... what beats my heart and makes my lungs breathe and my eyes see...
so if you are surrounded by racists for example , and they all lay a negative discourse on you, say you are living in the heart of the most racist town and you are the only aboriginal person , all the people around you are projecting on you . they are dressing you with a particular discourse: the looser, the drunk , the lazy one.. etc... they treat you as such , you start believing them , if you believe in something but 1000 people around you tell you that you are wrong you start doubting yourself. They are creating your reality and you are playing along if you dont stand firm with your feet planted in the ground.
so there is a big story, everyone is part of writing it, if we dont pay attention who is writing our story , it will not be written like we want , we end up living someone else's dreams not yourself, lost , miserable, weak, self resentful etc...
BUT, what is the line between self deception and standing your ground, being egotistic and refusing to change or see yourself vs allowing others to write your story.. sometimes - actually more often than not, these things mix up in my mind . Once i let it go all the way and .. I paid a very high price. so I will never allow anyone to write my story no matter what. I wont let it happen. Whatever we think we will attract - they say. So we shouldnt focus our energy on the negative and be very aware of the dangerous consequences.
الغصة كبيرة... بس الأمل أكبر
مش راح أسمح لحدا يهدني... يكسر نفسي أو عزيمتي